A Year Reflection

Well well well, 2012 is almost over and the 2013’s gate is going to open in no time. It is quite interesting to look back, and realize what I have been trough so far in this what-so-called water dragon for Chinese people or the doomsday year for the Mayans—hey, look Mayans, this is the end of this year, and we’re still alive!! Eat that! ha! Bottom line, this year has been challenging for me. It was the most roller-coaster-like year I’ve ever been trough. The moan, the whine, the panic, the hectic, the grin, the smile, the laugh, all together, mixed up, yet to be honest, this year made me bigger.

If I may say, this year was like final test to upgrade my life level. It was just like when you “meet the king” on video game, just like Mario Bros tried to kill the big great monsterous creature at the end of the stage. The emotions and the tense were all up together. Well yeah, just take a look at my postings this year, you will understand. The most challenging moment in this year was for sure, the break-up. Hahaha it might be so lame that I mention that thing first, but I’ve gotta be honest that it took the most emotion I had. The sob, the moan, the whine, I had them much back then. It’s true. Even after that the most miserable moment I’ve had so far, I was lost, and did so many stupidity regarding my love life hahaha, but yeah, we will never be grown-up and wise without being reckless and stupid, eh?

That moaning period led me to be such a workaholic person. I mean, I tried to do as many activities as I could. And yeah, I did. I took part at one of the biggest event in my campus, and I took a fairly big part on it. It was quite hard and difficult, so much challenging. For that job, I’ve got to push my self to my limit. That was the most challenging job I’ve ever had. I’ve got to do all of the craziest deadline during my mid-term test week, finish all of them simultaneously, maintain the priority, solve the problems, blablablablabla, it was incredibly hectic. Moreover, not only maintain the job and the class assignments, but also I’ve got to maintain my health which I failed at. Yeah, I’ve got hospitalized back then for my irresponsibility towards my own self. Sometimes it’s not that good to be that damn workaholic, force your self over and over again, and never pay attention to your own self. Trust me, it’s just such a disadvantage.

Some first-month of this year might be ghastly, yet even storm has its end, eh? And so my year does. Although it was nasty at the beginning, yet in the middle of the year to the end of the year, I felt steadier, firmer, more poise, and sound. I felt like the sunshine began to rise again on me—oh God, stop this terrible metaphor, yuck. In short, good thing started to come to me after all that wretched period. I was sorta flirted on someone, and finally, I fell for someone new, someone who is now my boyfriend. Haha yep, I moved on. Not only that, my campus life was getting better, I mean, I felt more comfortable with my campus friends, my campus was just like my second home in Depok, I met some new people, making friends with them, I had an annual project together with my Sasing Inggris 2010 pals to success our junior in Petang Kreatif. It was fun! All of the works and efforts we’ve had back the, and as the result, we won the third place!! Quoted from my friend, Ruth Vania, we are so proud like a proud mom haha. Not only that kind of winning which amused me, but I also got a exquisitely exotic and remarkable Lombok holiday with my family which was a rare thing to do!! Even at the end of the year was the final test week which was nastily exhausting yet I’m still contented as my friends and boyfriend are around. Living the moment is the most proper phrase to describe such moment haha.

Like I said, this year was the roller-coaster. This year was like Mario Bros faced the Boss of the stage. Fortunately, I am the Mario Bros who jump into the big green pipe after knocking down the boss of the stage. I am level-upgraded. Well yeah at least, that is what I feel so about my self in this year. I overcame the obstacles, maintained the emotion, got over the moan and sob, learnt from the past, forgave people and my self, continued life, until now live the moment. I am so glad that I could be on this phase, sitting in my bed, typing this sorta dramatic story of this year so far. I am so grateful that God still gives me opportunity to learn my life from my sob and tear, yet still gives me the laughter eventually. I feel much complete, wiser, and bigger, I suppose haha.

Well, thank God for the super-Mario-Bros-and-roller-coaster-like 360 days.

It was ROCK AND ROLL!!! J

Hand Sanitizer: The New Precious Jewels

Well, this time, I would like to be such a smarty-pants. I am going to discuss about something which sorta makes me pay attention to. I want to apologize in advance if this writing is kinda too subjective or else, but for sure, I mean no harm. I am just slobbering around. So, now the topic is about a small stuff, literally. Have you ever noticed these days people like to hang something eye-catchy at their backpacks or handbags? Do you notice that little eye-catchy bottle hanging there? Those little colorfully eye-burning items are hand sanitizers! Can you believe it? I bet you do since you must have seen them everywhere nowadays, at campus, malls, restaurants, café, office, or even you have one of them. Those fancy hand sanitizer are sorta popular these days. So actually, what is interesting on them until they become such must-have item?

Those fancy little hand sanitizer is named “Bath and Body Works Pocketbac” hand sanitizers. They are quite fancy since they have so many various unique scents, for instance Japanese Cherry Blossoms, Lemon Sugar Frizz, Warm Vanilla, Dancing Water, Creamy Pumpkin, Golden Dust, even they have Rain Scented, how startling, eh? This unintelligibly various fragrance makes people curious enough to buy and try it even though the price is not that affordable. I mean, you have to spend around 60.000 until 150.000 rupiahs to get one of those fancy hand sanitizers. It is quite expensive for a hand sanitizer, I suppose. Nevertheless, this kind of cute little sweet-scented item becomes celebrity. It is like people are fancing them. It is becoming the item people fond of. I wonder why people still eager to buy them although, in my own perspective, the price is not reasonable for a hand sanitizer since we know that there are still a lot of hand sanitizers out there which you can get even only by spending less than 10.000 rupiahs. Is that necessary to do? Is true that they do that for the sake of their sanitary needs? Or is there any hidden motivation behind that consuming product?

            Nowadays, buying and consuming something has more expanded meaning for people. The purpose is not only for fulfilling needs but also for particular aims, for instance prestige. According to Jean Baudrillard, at this postmodern society, consuming products is similar to consuming symbol and image. For this case, I don’t think that buying a 150.000 rupiah hand sanitizer is a needs, it is more than that. It could be for prestige. You “buy” and “consume” the prestige and pride due to your capability of buying so rather than really “consuming” the sanitary and cleanliness which are the main purposes of a hand sanitizer. The logic becomes like this, if you really need a hand sanitizer for the sake of your sanitary, why do you have to buy such an expensive one while there are still a lot of them which are more affordable and more bacteria-disinfectant? Therefore, it cannot be blamed if we predict that there is concealed reason of purchasing those expensive hand sanitizers, and prestige might be the one.

            Talking about prestige, I suppose it has to be shown off, something visible, something that people will aware and notice about. Since we are talking about the hand sanitizer, I wonder, are they noticeable enough for people? The answer is “yes, absolutely.” Do you remember where the owner put them? Inside the bag? Of course no. They hang them at the zipper hold or at the outside part of the bag. As I have mentioned before, even it has its own holder. And the holders are so much colourful and eye-catchy. Not only the eye-catchy colours, but the shapes are also so cute and funny. This kind of thing has to have purpose. In my humble opinion, it is made for getting people’s attention. This hand sanitizer turns to be jewelry, something that you can show to your friends and be proud of it. That you can afford a 150.000 rupiah hand sanitizer could be a sensible reason to label your self as “classy” or something I’m not really sure about, yet generally it surely have a relation to pride. In addition, the brand of the product itself, “Bath and Bodyworks” might be already considered as the brand for upper middle class people, not many people can afford all of their product. Related to the consumers, most of the buyers of this product are no longer those who are considered the upper middle class people. They are expanding. Nowadays, working class or middle class people attempt to afford them. It might be because they want to be considered equal to the upper class. They want that kind of label. This evidence quite supports the assumption that prestige and pride are the purpose of this fancy hand sanitizer phenomenon.

            Consumerism is all around us. People nowadays compulsively buy something that they should have not to. People tend to buy a lot of stuffs not for their needs, but to other else reasons. It might be prestige, image, self-branding, identity, self-recognition, or anything. It is not always clear who is to blame, yet for sure, nowadays, consuming is labelling.

Doa dalam Jarak

Pernah di suatu waktu kita berkata, “Jalan mana yang ingin kau tempuh?”. Lalu, kau hanya menjawab enteng, ”Yah yang mana sajalah, asalkan Tuhan yang beri.” Dalam senyum tipis mu, aku tahu. Kau tak inginkan seperti itu. Tapi aku hanya terdiam, membiarkan lidah ini kelu tak berirama. Sore itu kita habiskan bersama saja. Aku, kamu, dan pilihan kata pembentuk mimpi omong kosong mu. Selama ini aku tahu, mana ada benda di dunia ini yang mampu membuat mu pasrah, menerima apapun yang kau katakan ”asalkan Tuhan yang beri.” Pih. Mengenal Tuhan saja, prestasi bagimu. Kamu, mahkluk paling kekar dalam pemikiranmu, manusia paling keras kepala yang pernah ku tahu. Mana ada sejarah nya kau lelah dalam waktu? Mana ada catatan nya kau kalah pada keadaan pembentuk hari? Tak ada, kawan. Ini bukan kau. Namun aku hanya terdiam dan rantaikan jejak padamu. Hingga sampai pada waktu kau buka kartu, kau menemukan realita pembentuk dirimu. Ternyata dirimu tak seteguh dahulu. Zaman mengikismu, waktu melemahkanmu. Entah lah, kau bukan dirimu yang dulu. Ketika jalanmu menjadi jalanku, dan jalanku menjadi jalanmu. Kau tawarkan sejenak cerita cerita dahulu antara kau dan mimpi mu. Mimpi yang kau gadaikan, mimpi yang kau lemparkan, mimpi yang kau buang, mimpi yang kau telantarkan. Entah apa yang kau pikirkan waktu itu. Waktu saat gadaikan mimpi mu. Kerasukan setan apa kau? Termakan rayuan iblis apa kau? Semoga kau paham apa yang salah karena ini bukan diri mu. Semoga kau tahu siapa yang kalah karena aku tahu ini menyiksamu.

           

Aku kini hanya diam, Sobat. Bergeming, mendoakan mu dalam jarak.

Untukmu, mimpimu, dan kehidupan baru mu.

The Talkative People

People communicate everyday. Mostly by speaking, creating words, sounding voices. Some of them are so much talkative, so much bold, so much vocal. They talk everyday, everytime, every minute, every second. They platter without stuttering. Their lips move fluently. It’s just that flowing. It’s just so flawless. They tell everything they feel, they see, they hear, they smell. Everything. Until everyone around thinks they’re just blabbering without pull stop. Most of them, who are keen on talking, seem cheerful and lively everyday. They seem so open to everybody. Knowing them is just like reading a manual book. So easy to read, so readable.

However, have you ever noticed that people like them are just disguising?

Disguising from their own feeling. Hiding their emotions. Covering all bad side of their own selves?

Because, believe it or not. Those people who talk much are not actually “talking” after all. They are not the people of happiness. They are not the joker. They are not the books. They hold back. They are not mouth-slippering, but actually mouth-zippering. Mouth-zippering from their own feeling. They just keep wondering if it’d be appropriate to be told. They just keep hold it, cover it with smile, giggle, laugh, or even stupid jokes.

They just hold it. In slobbering, blabbering, chattering, mumbling mode.

Hijabers: Potrait of Consumerist Moslem Women

“Duh, itu apa sih kepala kok dililit-lilit?”

”Ini di-gimana-in pake nya? kok bisa gini?”

”Itu jilbab ya mbo yang rapi-rapi aja, pake jilbab sampe dua tiga lapis sekaligus gitu...”

Have you ever said those statements when you saw a young moslem girl using such an extraordinary model of veil? Or unintentionally have heard someone said so? I guess, realize it or not, we have ever experienced it. It is because the usage of hijab is now in trend. It is phenomenal. Not only in particular formal occasion, the “out of the box” and eccentric way of hijab use is also worn in campus and even in hangout places, such as malls and cafes.  Hijaber Moslem girls, whom most of them are youngster, are extremely creative on hijab and modification of headscarf. The models of the hijab are also incredibly various from the simplest one until the most complicated and surprising one which can be so much astonishing, and make you frowning then ask or say previous statements above.

HIJABS

JILBABS

Actually, what is exactly the difference between hijab and jilbab? Many people which I have already asked about did not notice the difference. However, some of my friends who are the members of Hijabers Community, a community which is keen on fashion for Moslem women, could answer it short, simple, yet clear. For them, there is a distinct difference between hijab and jilbab. Jilbab is usually considered as “jilbab segitiga” which is ordinarily used by most of Moslem women. Meanwhile, hijab is a headscarf of veil which has been modified and added with some accessories.  “It is sorta winding headscarf,” one of them said boldly.

What makes hijab being so much fond of? This hijab phenomenon is triggered by technology and information. Hana Tajima, a English fashion designer, popularized it. She liked to upload the trendy and uniquely fashionable hijab tutorial on YouTube. From there, a lot of Moslem girls started to follow the new way of using hijab. Not only international designers or public figures, in Indonesia, local designers and celebrities began to show their existence in using hijab, for instance Dian Pelangi, Puput Melati, and so on. The new use of hijab was also expanding when Ramadhan tv serial or sinetron ramadhan was just like competing each other to show the use of hijab on their female casts. Sinetron made hijab which was considered unfamiliar and global, became much more familiar and local. This made hijabers not only comes from upper middle class people who can easily update hijab style development trough internet, but it is expanded to larger scale of class.

Everyone wants recognition or affirmation within ourselves or from other people, and do the Moslem women. We can not deny that each of women wants to be considered beautiful and gorgeous. As for postmodern, beauty is a diverse product, and the most eccentric, dysfunctional, outrageous is the most beautiful one, as long it is the disparity of something that has not been existed before. Before this hijabers phenomenon, the use of hijab or headscarf for Moslem women seemed boring and dull since there wasn’t any kind of variation in the way they wore it. Then, these extraordinary various hijab styles were appeared, giving the new energy and inspirations for those who wore hijabs. Those styles were ingeniously different yet eye-catching. They were considered more fashionable than the ordinary hijab or headscarf for Moslem women. Those eye-catching colour and out-of-box style of hijab can be put together with other up-to-date and trendy fashion items and dresses, not only Moslem wear like gamis, but the fashion items which we can usually see on the fashion magazines. That makes the new definition of “beauty” for Moslem women. According to Baudrillard, consuming product is similar to consuming symbols and image. This point is also related to the usage of hijab nowadays for Moslem women. Obviously, hijab will give them a higher value in term of beauty than other ordinary Moslem women who don’t wear that extraordinary hijab styles. Self branding as “up-to-date” “sophisticated”, and “chic” will be stitched on them. Those labels, clearly, give them prestige and pride on their society due to their capability of being fashionable and standing boldly different among other ordinary Moslem girls.

Desire to be differently fashionable is also depicted on the differences between hijab and jilbab.  Literally, hijab is the border cloth between man and woman in Moslem society. Hijab is actually a cloth to cover some forbidden body area in Islam (it is usually called Aurat). Hence, there is no difference between hijab and jilbab.  However, nowadays, there is a shifting on the definition. Frequently, hijab  is the term of veil of headscarf with extraordinary shapes. Hijab is differed for sake of identity and self-branding of the hijabers. They want to be considered and seen as “unique” and “different”.  

Example of Tausiah and Bazaar Event

Desire to be always fashionable has to be backed up with some brand-new and fresh fashion items. It gives a tendency for hijabes to buy the fashion items compulsively. As it has been said by Faurschou that postmodern people is the people who is triggered to create the endless desire of consuming.  Not only the hijab or the headscarfs, hijabes, frequently, buy some accessories as the complement of the hijab, for instance rings, bracelets, brooches, necklaces, headbands, and so on and so forth. They buy that not for the needs of covering their body parts as it is commanded in Moslem belief, yet it is only for their pleasure. A great number of online shops which sell some hijab and accessories become the indicator of this phenomenon.

Not only in shopping centre and online shops, the quran reading gathering (or pengajian in Indonesia) is also completed with bazaar section in it. the quran reading which is usually held by the hijaber community,  is not the way to listen on preach and the tausi’ah  anymore, but it is also the place for shopping! Ironic is the girls recurrently looking forward to the bazaar which provides them with promos and discounts much more than the tausi’ah  itself.    

This phenomenon shows there is a shifting of consuming meaning. Clothes, or hijab and accessories in this case, they are no longer functioned as the body (aurat) cover, but they are for identity matters and self-branding issue. Moslem women attempt to stick some particular labels on themselves through the use of hijab. The beautiful fashionable and up-to-date Moslem woman is the identity which might appear as the same time of the title of hijabers comes to them.

References:

Banard, Malcomn. 2011. Fashion Sebagai Komunikasi: Cara Mengomunikasikan Identitas Sosial, Seksual, Kelas dan Gender. Jalasutra: Yogyakarta

Soedjatmiko, Haryanto. 2008. Saya Berbelanja, Maka Saya Ada: Ketika Konsumsi dan Desain Menjadi Gaya HIdup Konsumeris. Jalasutra: Yogyakarta