Silence Day In Crowded Cheers

SILENCE DAY IN CROWDED CHEERS

By Ayu Sandiningtias (1006765324)

Silang Monas Jakarta, in the heat of the sun, in the middle of helter-skelter people, among the colourful flags, costumes, and accessories, around the noise of not only cheering people but also the traditional music, and the rowdy vehicles, it felt like ‘silence’ was not the suitable word to describe Silence Day.

The noise came from Ogoh-Ogoh Parade which was held at Silang Monas, Jakarta, on Monday, March 11 2012, one day before Silence Day. Actually, Ogoh-Ogoh Parade was one of the sequences of Silence Day’s celebration. Before this, there was Melasti. The Hindus prepared themselves for Silence Day by cleaning all of the prayer equipments. The cleaning of those equipments represented the cleansing of their soul, preparing themselves to be a more brand-new and better person. Then after that, The Ogoh-Ogoh Parade was held. Generally, this carnival was held in Bali, yet now, it was on Monas, Jakarta. According to Mr. Wayan, the elder of Pura Setia Loka, “Ogoh-Ogoh parade was usually called by Tawur Kesanga or Tawur Agung. It was held in order to clean the world from any disasters or catastrophes. The catastrophes were symbolized by the giant Ogoh-ogohs.” The Ogoh-ogohs were made in monster-look-like shapes. They were like having the long and extendable tongues out, the big, bulging, glaring eyes, and also the threatening expressions. Some of them held weapons on their hands.  Ogoh-ogohs were basically gigantic puppets, made from weaved bamboo. However, at Monas Ogoh-Ogoh Parade, most of the Ogoh-ogoh were made from styrofoam.  “It’s too heavy and expensive to build a bamboo-made Ogoh-ogoh,” a local Ogoh-Ogoh Parade visitor said.

The Ogoh-Ogoh, as the symbol of Bata Kala, the jeopardy of the world, was made in order to be burnt later. It emphasized that the Bata Kala had been vanished from the world and was unable to disturb the peaceful earth. There were about hundreds people there, living up the parade, walking, laughing, taking pictures, even dancing. Although the heat of the sun was inevitable, it felt like, smiles could not be evaporated away from people’s faces. As the Ogoh-ogohs were burnt, they were all cheering.  “We are happy to see the Ogoh-ogoh are burnt. We are so relieved. Even tough we know they are only the symbol of harm, we just believe that God will protect us from Bata Kala,” said Widya, a visitor of Ogoh-Ogoh Parade.

Not only the Ogoh-Ogoh burning which was there, but some of dances also were being the part of Tawur Kesanga. There were a lot of dances, like Pendet Dance, Cendrawasih Dance, and also Rejang Dance. The dances were dominated by colourful costumes, noisy sounds from the Gamelan, and also the applauses “Basically, all of the dances were the presents for God. This is how we say ‘thank you’ and delivers our gratefulness to the earth,” said Cinde, while watching the Rejang Dance, “This dance is dominated by young girls because they are considered as the symbol of gratefulness to God.” Cinde, who is also a Balinese dancer, had her own perspective about Silence Day.

”All people only know that we (the Hindus) are only staying at home, doing nothing while we are celebrating Silence Day. Actually, it is more than that. We go to Pure (the Hindus’ praying building) together with our family and relatives, do sembahyang, even there is the Ogoh-Ogoh Parade like this. And then, there is Ngembak Geni, a gathering activity after we did Catur Brata (which means no light, no noise, no activity, and no entertainment) on Silence Day. Although it is true that we do Catur Brata in Silence Day, actually we are having dialogue with God. Thus, interaction and dialog are always there, on the commemoration of Silence Day.”

Hence, what do usually people think about Silence Day? The feast of the Hindus? The day when the Hindus just remain in silence and do nothing? Even if it is true that they commemorate Silence Day in calm and tranquility, actually it has its own joy and cheers in what people see as the silence.

**This was an assignment of Journalistic Class in 2012. I miss this class a lot and also my super awsome lecturer.

 

Belajar, Ujian, Tes, dan...ah sudahlah...

Learning is interesting-almost-exciting. Taking exams is not.

Hal itu yang terlintas ga lama aja dari saya mencoba untuk posting tulisan ini. Kenapa saya tiba tiba kesurupan ngepost hal hal yang berbau belajar, karena saya emang lagi ada di fase yang muak banget buat belajar. Hari ini ujan terus seharian, besok saya ujian mid term susulan, dan bukannya belajar (baca: menghafal materi) buat UTS, saya malah terjebak pada dunia maya,berjam jam keasikan ngescroll timeline salah satu akun jurnalis yang baru aja saya termuin secara ga sengaja, baca beberapa bab dari kumpulan jurnal yang sama sekali ga ada hubungannya sama materi ujian saya besok.

Emang udah tipikal saya buat gampang ke-distract sama hal lain. So nirma-ish.

Emang udah dari lama ini saya sering kali mikir, kenapa sih mesti ada ujian? Kenapa ya? Ya buat ngukur kemampuan lah nir, namanya juga lagi kuliah. Ya mau ga mau. Tapi bener deh, saya mendambakan kehidupan yang kalo bisa, kita bebas belajar apapun yang kita mau, baca bergunung gunung buku yang kita tertarik banget, diskusi berjam jam berhari hari isu yang kita kepoin, observasi hal hal yang emang udah diujung kepala pengen banget kita temuin jawabannya, tanpa ada ujian. TANPA ADA UJIAN. Muluk? Emang. Kalo ga muluk, pasti udah bisa dijadiin sistem pendidikan di Indonesia kali deh. Makanya saya juga Cuma bisa bacot doang di blog. Sori deh, anak nya emang bukan tipe penggerak, tapi emang pen-dumel ulung doang. Mohon maaf ya, Bung Karno Bung Hatta, dan kawan kawan pahlawan.

Tapi bener deh, saya bukan nya sok sok intelek atau gimana ya, saya juga anak nya ga pinter pinter amat, dan ga suka suka amat belajar—kalo belajar diidentikan dengan baca teksbook kuliah dan belajar seharian rutin buat ujian. Tapi saya suka belajar. Definisi belajar saya itu ya tadi: baca buku seenak enaknya saya suka, diskusi kanan kiri dari orang yang lebih pinter, scrolling akun orang-orang yang punya banyak pandangan tentang isu isu yang beredar, baca blog blog dengan perspektif warna warni, atau bolak balik portal berita buat lihat tek-tok isu yang beredar udah ada di level apa. Dan yang penting, GA PAKE UJIAN.

Bukannya saya sentimen sama ujian dan bener bener anti-ujian. Enggak kok, cuma tadi setelah saya abis baca jurnal perempuan, terus ngerasa pusing sendiri karena baca tiduran, ga pake kacamata lagi, saya memutuskan untuk berhenti sejenak. Berdiri. Atur nafas. Minum air segelas. Memejamkan mata beberapa detik, terus buka mata. Eeeeehh, pas lagi buka mata, materi ujian marketing communication saya nongol di depan mata, semacem ngambek, unjuk rasa, “Gile lu yeh nir, besok nih gue yang bakal muncul di soal ujian, bukan jurnal perempuan! Lo mau nganggurin gue aja gitu?”

Terus saya mikir. Kaya nya saya lebih eager buat belajar ketika saya tahu bakal ga ada ujiannya. Biasanya saya jadi jauh lebih kepo dan input nya pun banyak. Tapi, yaaa saya juga mikir. Saya males belajar karena ujian, apa sebenernya karena saya takut sama hasil ujiannya nanti? Ketika saya sudah usaha semaksimal yang saya bisa tapi ternyata hasil ga berbanding lurus sama usaha? Gitu alesannya? Karena saya takut kecewa sama diri sendiri? Makanya saya lebih suka jalan aman buat belajar semau saya, sejauh yang saya suka dan pengen, tanpa harus diuji? atau karena emang saya nya aja yang ga mau repot keluar dari zona aman menyenangkan ga ada beban?

Ga ngerti. Ga paham. Yang jelas, saya masih ga pengen belajar buat ujian atau ngerjain tugas yang lain, dan mau lanjut baca yang lain. Keburu teh manis anget saya jadi dingin.

Blah Blah Blah

Lately I feel like ive been drowning. I don’t feel like I am in the right place. It is silly because actually I am in the position that I used to crave for. Yeah it is because while I am in my place now, I have to do a lot of demanding things which I consider as not-my-passion things.  At first, I moan a lot and cry a lot and moan a lot and whine a lot and cry a lot. Pretty lame, eh? But it happened.  I hate it so much when I have to do something that I don’t like, something that make me feel like “ I don’t understand what I don’t understand”. It is so frustrating, and as the result, Ive got some bad marks for those excessively exhausting and frustrating efforts. And because of that, I feel terrible and start to cry and moan and cry and moan and cry and cry. This sorta thing makes me feel so dumb and stupid. And I hate being dumb and stupid.

Not so many days ago, I tried not to repeat the same pattern; moan and cry and cry and whine. I tried to be stronger and tougher—yeah that is somewhat they called motivation. I stopped crying and start doing my thing as best as I could. I managed my time; I finished my work one step at a time. and yes, I didn’t cry at all. Done it smoothly. I considered it as my accomplishment since I was not like what I used to be. However, when the result comes, its till not as good as I expected. It is still not even average score for me. I feel sad and once again, stupid. I hate it so much. I wonder sometimes, why is it always like this? I mean like, I have done my best yet why there is no any kind of improvement in terms of the score. I don’t know. Is that because I don’t like to do the thing so the result is just like what Ive got? I know it is not even an excuse to blame on the assignment which I don’t like, yet I don’t know. By the time I post this, I don’t know what I feel. Its all mixed up. The disappointment, the misery, the blah blah and blah.

Ive never felt this depressed before. It is frustrating to know the fact that you’ve already done your best yet still got nothing. I know, as Paulo Coelho said that I might have lost some major battles, yet im still here, and I survived. That’s the only thing I have now to make me not to cry. But yeah, I am still not sure what it will be whether to be still survive from today’s major battle or not.

Jam 6 Sampai Jam 8 Pagi

Menyenangkan bagi saya adalah jam 6 sampai jam 8 pagi. Ketika pagi masih cukup remaja, tak teralu muda, tak teralu renta. Ketika hidup masih baru dan manusia memaksa bangun terkantuk-kantuk. Ketika orang orang mulai hari dengan segelas teh manis dan sepiring nasi, atau seporsi roti lengkap dengan selai atau mentega atau keju di tengah nya, atau hanya segelas air, atau hanya sesederhana segenggam doa pada ibadah pagi muda.

Menyenangkan adalah jam 6 sampai jam 8 pagi. Ketika udara masih tak teralu kejam, terhirup masuk ke paru-paru, dan oksigen masih ramah merasuk ke sel darah. Ketika matahari masih bergerak malu mempersiapkan energi penuh di terik kemudian. Ketika embun masih sudi mampir diatas rumput, menemani suara burung berkicau yang mungkin sebenarnya juga lapar dan ingin makan, atau pergi bekerja, seperti manusia. Ketika manusia mulai mau tak mau bergerak demi menghidupkan hari, demi hidup sendiri. Ketika anak anak merengek tak ingin mandi dan bersekolah sementara sang ibu tak ambil pusing mengguyur si anak dengan segayung air.

Ada yang menyenangkan dari jam 6 sampai jam 8 pagi. Saat lantai masih cukup dingin untuk dipijak. Saat selimut masih mungkin melekat. Saat kantuk masih tak mau beranjak. Namun realita sudah merengek mengajak.

Ada yang selalu menyenangkan dari jam 6 sampai jam 8 pagi. Saat kau masih terlelap dengan wajah letih itu. Saat kau terbaring tak sadar dengan posisi sesuka mu, tangan di kepala, kaki tersandar pada dinding, selimut disamping telinga, dan badan tertindih guling. Saat kau enggan terbangun dan tetap hidup dalam mimpi walau surya pagi mengintip dari celah jendela.

  

Menyenangkan bagi saya adalah jam 6 sampai jam 8 pagi. Saat saya mengingat kembali semua gambaran itu. Kau, dan apapun yang kau lakukan dari jam 6 sampai jam 8 pagi.

Arogansi

Sempat  ada waktu perih timbul, sesak membengkak, dan iri menyembul pada setiap kata, baris, bahkan jeda yang kau tata pada koma. Tentang mereka. Siapapun mereka, apa warnanya, dan bagaimanapun kau wujudkan dalam imaji. Manis, pahit, pedih, melambung, menyentuh, tipikal jatuh cinta.

Hingga kau mengalungkan nama baru di dada mu, “pujangga,” kata mereka.

Sempat ada waktu logika mengerjakan tugasnya. Membandingkan. Mencocokan antara perkataan yang terucap dan kenyataan yang terpampang. Mengoreksi, nampaknya. Pada akhirnya, kotak logika menyimpulkan korelasi nihil adanya.

“Katanya ‘A’, nyata nya enggak.”

Atau begini saja. Mari kita ambil tengahnya—bukan—negosiasi, apa katanya.

Jelas saya bukan inspirasi. Tapi katakan saja,

Hanya saya yang mampu.

Menghipnotismu.

Membuatmu kaku.

Kelu.

Terpaku hanya pada satu.

Tak berkata-kata.

Tak bersuara.

Dan wahai pujangga, jelas,  maaf saja,

kau tak mampu lagi rangkaikan kata indah dan diksi memabukan.

Karena otak mu berhenti.

Malfungsi.